At first, she could not believe her luck. It was the perfect dress for a funeral, that could be paired with her bat-neckless without looking tasteless. She even found a matching hat. But, nobody she knew had died. She was too shy to attend the funeral of a stranger. Besides, she longed to hear the praise of her friends and family, being the center of attention for once.
In the end, she found a simple solution and payed her great-aunt a surprise visit, bringing a bottle of arsenic-fortified sweet apple cider.
She had not foreseen the magnitude of the following guilt-trip, and ended up drinking the leftovers. They were buried next to eachother, wearing all white of course.
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